Thursday, July 12, 2012

A Stranger's Perfect Timing

Some know, some don't know. The last 7 months of family life has taken a drastic turn. This so called path that life threw at us, had knocked us down to our knees begging for understanding, and so many cries to God for strength to get through just to get one more breath in to be able to move forward. Somehow, someway we are here today, stronger than we were, we see that light at the end of a very dark path. It is not officially over, but there is a new, perhaps even brighter path forming in front of us. (I apologize for how broad this is, but I am not yet ready nor do I know if I will ever be ready to share this chapter of my life with the world. There are a very few select friends that know and have shown me an overwhelming amount of support, each night I give thanks to The One above for these people).

Enter the month of June with me. The girls are in full swing of their 8U (8 and under) softball season. We versed this one team, one that stuck out for me because, one they had the same dark green uniform as our teams shirts, and two because there coach (or assistant coach) was so stinking loud and obnoxious, lets face it we all have encountered that person. All I could do was shake my head with disbelief with her sarcastic nature. She flat out yelled to a parent "Come on, in the 9 years you have known me, when do I shut my mouth?!" Whoa!!!

So our De Soto team keeps playing and we come out with 0 wins, the other De Soto team wins I believe 3 games, 2 of them to our team and one against another team. Now we have entered July, so when entering this Wellsville 8U tournament, even though we combined our 2 De Soto teams no one expected us to do well in the tournament. The second we got to the fields and settled down, I hear that dreaded loud voice again, all I could think was "oh, great its that team again." Somehow we won the first game, by 1 point, but its a win!! She came up and said "Good game De Soto" followed by that clearing the throat we know we will win over you type thing. All I could do was repeat her words back to her, we shared a brief smile and walked separate ways.

Day 2 of our tournament we thought we would play the winner of last nights other tournament and it ended up not being so. (wipe the sweat off the brow) Our girls pull out another win, 16-7 as a team we are all beaming with pride and go to the adjoining park to let the girls play some. Then here she comes, being loud as ever. Even though I tried to move away from her I somehow ended up right next her. She talks, I listen. She yells "Bean, what are you doing?!" we all look over and see a girl sliding down the slide doing the spreads (or splits, I get those 2 mixed up). So then we start talking gymnastics, Kaitlyn is a gymnastics enthusiast. We have her enrolled in a company that just told me they would not advance Kaitlyn because of her "attitude" but yet she still has all the skills mastered for this level. So I asked where she went, she told me but they are a competitive gymnastics, I know Kaitlyn is not ready for that just yet. She continues and says she has problems with companies because of the fact her daughter is missing a foot. (How completely ridiculous)

 The next night we had to verse her team, she is still loud but now I am seeing a different side to her, so I am becoming a bit more accepting. We win this 3rd and final game 10-8, we are the Champions of this tournament! We head to the park once again this time to celebrate with a cookie cake (from Sam's, it's a must try if you haven't had one!) and watermelon.

Here she comes again and she had to tell another child that it was ok to tell her son to get away from her. That he has Asperger's and sometimes he doesn't get the social cue to leave people alone. The word Asperger stood out about as much as I just bolded it for you. Jayden has had this "different" personality his entire life, it really wasn't until the last few years I began to question his development. He is still pretty clingy and as he ages it makes people feel uncomfortable. Not to mention that there is a clear delay in reading, but the school is blaming on fluency problems.

I release this part of me, and ask her how she knew, how did she find out? She just said let me get your number and I will get you a number. She walked away and came back. This time Jayden was standing right beside me. I just introduced them "I said Donna, this is Jayden." Its like a light switch in her demeanor had switched, her posture even changed. She held out her had and said "Jayden, my name is Donna, its so very nice to meet you." Jayden just gave an awkward smile in return. He stepped back and she looks at me in my face, and says "I definitely see it. She turns to Jason and says be prepared for not many nice things to come of this." Her son, her precious child is 13, has a 4.2 GPA but is the subject of torment at school. She told me that her son refuses to go into the locker rooms at school, kids twist his chest and poke him. He has even come home on three separate occasions and wanted to kill himself.

This is where the differences are coming into play, Jayden lacks not only social skills but academic skills as well (maybe this is why it's been a difficult journey to the Asperger's diagnosis, as Asperger children tend to be known as mini professors because of their outstanding abilities) It appears to be true for Donna, however. Just ask Jayden about the Titanic and you might find yourself amazed at his knowledge of that.

So while I am scared of the official diagnosis, (his assessment is planned for July 19) How life has lead me to this loud, obnoxious lady is beyond me. It is not my position to question it either, just accept it, and embrace it. She has walked this walk, and I finally have met another person who understands this difficult portion of life. We exchanged numbers and have already been texting this morning :)

My love for Jayden will never change, he will always be my baby boy and I only hope for the absolute best for him. Jason said something to Donna last night and her response blew me away. Jason said "It's ok, we will get him (Jayden) fixed." Donna shook her head no and said "no, he's fine there is nothing to fix because he is perfect."